Virtually Fat Free

I was struggling with a subject to form my latest rant about, let’s see weapons of mass destruction, gun crime, religion, climate change, the Beckhams…all pretty boring and overdone. Then I thought why not write about what is currently, and 99% of my awake (and most probably my asleep) life on my mind…and that is food. I bet you all thought I was going to say sex then! Well believe it or not even this little self confessed nympho would prefer a curry to a shag the majority of the time!

I love food. I really love it. Nothing makes me happier. My whole life is governed by when my next meal is. I also genuinely believe, other than my father, I can eat more than anyone I have met, and people who know me reading this saying “but she doesn’t eat that much?”, you have seen me stop myself eating. I can always always eat more, even if I feel full up, I can eat more. Now this was all well and good as a skinny little teenager but as my 25th birthday looms round the corner I have to face facts that I have (though it pains me to say it) become woman and things don’t sit like they used to. I am getting lumps and bumps where they never were before and sods law says it is my favourite pass time of eating that is doing this to me. I never have been, never will be and never want to be a size zero. Why anyone would is beyond me and the whole debate about young girls looking at models in magazines and becoming anorexic etc does my crust in. If someone looks at what is essentially a skeleton wrapped in skin and longs to look like it then let the idiot starve to death. You may think this is a bit controversial but it is my opinion and it works on the other side of the scale as well. Take for example the whole McDonalds “super size me” issue. McDonalds is bad for you, everyone knows it is bad for you. Normal people once in a while indulge in a McMeal, enjoy every second of it then feel shit and guilty afterwards. If somebody sees in McDonalds a breakfast menu, a lunch menu, a dinner menu and the possibility of supersizing all of these and thinks “oooh what a great idea, I know I’ll eat super sized McDs three times a day everyday” then please let the dumb fucks do it. Let them get fucking fat and die of heart failure before they have a chance to procreate and create more dumb people. People this is Darwin before our very eyes, survival of the fittest. We need to stop bringing awareness to these fat fucks and “stick your fingers down your throat” princesses and let them do it, die out and the world will be a cleverer and easier place to live in. It is not the adverts that warp the people’s minds, the minds are already warped and these are minds that must be destroyed. I diverge. I am not a size zero. I am a size 10 when I try, a size 12 when I don’t and at one stage of my life a size 14 (but we don’t talk about this time). Even if I wanted to be a size zero I couldn’t because I was born in to a size 10/12 frame and not matter how much weight I lose I won’t get any smaller than this, I’ll just look boney. So it is not my frame that upsets me or is the issue here, it is what is wrapped around it, and this is what determines whether I am a 10 or 12, whether I feel good or not and whether I want to take my clothes off or not. I’m talking about excess flab and it is the bain of my existence. My one true love, food, sits on my hips, belly, thighs, arms etc and ironically makes me miserable. So much so that I can no longer get pleasure out of eating, as I feel guilty doing it.

It seems everybody in the world has their own opinion about weight loss and the best/correct way to do it and I just don’t know who to listen to anymore. Let us start with dieting. There are so many diets now I can’t keep up and each one has its own difficult, dangerous or just plain ridiculous characteristic. I swear I have been told in one way or another that every single food group is actually bad for me. I even worked behind a bar with a guy who once told me lettuce was fattening! Drop carbs, drop protein, fruit only, veg only, no dairy, everything in moderation, special fucking K. I can’t deal with it. Once I think I’ve got it clear in my head what I should be eating to guarantee a bit of weight loss and a healthy lifestyle, somebody else contradicts it. I don’t really ever eat junk food or sweets, chocolate, crisps etc but I now believe potatoes, bread, rice, pasta and anything carb based to be satans produce and being a vegetarian this makes meal time a little limited believe me. Especially as I obviously have to cut out cheese, anything in a jar and anything made by Linda McCartney. (They can try and take hummus from me but they never will, I’m not listening you cunts). So carrots anybody? But not boiled for too long as even they will lose their goodness if you cook them too much, apparently. So we are left with raw veg, otherwise known as a salad. Now hands up who actually, honestly, ever feels satisfied after eating a salad. Admittedly with summer coming in I crave less of the heavy foods (swapping McCoys for quavers – they’re floaty light) and a salad can make the transition from accompanying lasagne and garlic bread to a meal in its own right. But still then there is the dilema, should you be allowed croutons? They are after all fried bread? And don’t even start me on salad dressing! The other day I bought a “virtually fat free” thousand island dressing and feeling very chuffed with myself chucking copious amounts of it over essentially lettuce and cucumber my friend comes out with “yeah but it’ll be full of sugar which turns to fat if you don’t burn it off”. FUCK OFF. SERIOUSLY! Am I not allowed anything anymore???!

So that last comment brings me on to the next subject in the “looking after yourself” world we now life in. Exercise. The word makes me shudder. I hate it. I detest it. I know people that love it, crave it, can’t wait to get down that old gym and pump some iron. The only conclusion I can draw is that they are clinically insane and have convinced themselves they enjoy something just because they have been told it is good for you, much like colonic irrigation or something equally horrific. But I can’t argue with the fact it is good for you (in small doses mind). And after years of avoiding it I have succumbed and got myself a gym membership. I have actually had this since August but have only in the last three months actually made use of it. So I’m now in my 3rd month of gymming three times a week. This may seem like nothing to you but for me this is a huge achievement. To not only be exercising but to keep up a routine for as long as I have is a big deal. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays you will find me sweating my little heart out in my horrendously overpriced (but close to my house which makes up for it) leisure complex. (Just to note I did miss good Friday being massively hungover, but in the spirit of things, I attempted a run down the river which I admit now was probably because I was still drunk and a very bad idea indeed).

So you’d think that me going to the gym and pushing myself to the point that I sweat more than I ever knew I could three times a week would be enough to satisfy people. You think wrong. It seems that, as with food, everybody has your own opinion of what “type” of exercise I should be doing. Weightloss, toning, abs, biceps, triceps, gluteal, aerobic, blah blah bollocks bollocks. You get asked “what do you want to achieve?” I want to look good. Full stop. I want to put on a swim suit and look like Carmen Electra (who is not a size zero before you all start calling me a hypocrite). I want a flat tummy, a tight arse and thighs and I want to be able to wave without the bottom of my arm having a 2 second lag behind the top of my arm. And most importantly I want to get this with as little work as possible. So what do I like doing exercise wise? Nothing really. I guess you can count dancing as exercise and I fucking love dancing, only problem is for every calorie burnt dancing I consume 100 in beer, generally followed by chips cheese and mayo from kebab kid on the way home so I can’t really count dancing as exercise as such. So best start with what I hate least and that would be running and swimmming. I’m actually not too bad at running, which from my personal surveys seems to be what everyone hates most. But now I hear “well yes you are burning fat and calories but its not the most efficient way of doing this and you don’t tone anything doing it” or “you’ll only get large calves”…..and swimming I find very easy and relaxing but then I get “oooh you don’t want to be doing swimming a lot, it works all the wrong muscles and you’ll end up with a funny body shape”. So what should I do? The other day at the gym the little Italian who is usually on reception was actually doing a work out and seeing as we tend to flirt outrageously anyway it was inevitable that he was to become my personal trainer for the day. So he asked the required “what do you want to achieve” (add your own Italian accent in here). I gave the usual, legs, bums, tums response and before long he had me on my back on the floor (keep it clean here guys), holding on to 2 handles lifting my legs up and down without letting them touch the floor. This is fucking difficult and to top it off every time I lifted them up he would literally shove them with all his strength downwards, the whole time screaming “uno, due, tre” etc. Firstly this was traumatic because, as a protest against men and all things to with sex, I have not shaved my legs since I was dumped in the beginning of January this year (that’s 4, yes count them 4 months). Hence this rare physical contact with a male proved highly uncomfortable for me and most likely him as well. But this aside, fuck me, that was so fucking difficult and I’m not joking, I was crippled for the best of a week. If this is what it takes to get a perfect figure then I’ll keep my (slightly too big but in hopefully an endearing kind of way) belly thank you very much.

So after this mass rant I’m left nowhere really. I like food and detest exercising which leaves me the choice of being fat or miserable. Seriously though it does get me down that I will never again just be able to just let myself eat what I want again without that little fucking nagging in my head saying “bikini weather is just round the corner, who is ever going to find you attractive if you do have that extra big portion….”

I notice now I said “who” is going to find me attractive and it makes me wonder why it is I do it? Why do I want the slender figure which will basically require a lifetime of celery and cross training. Is it to attract the opposite sex, or is it for myself. I believe a combination of these. If I look better, and feel healthier, I’ll give off a more confident attractive vibe, thus attract more people, meet somebody, get a ring on my finger and get them dependent on me so no they will never leave me. Then once I have them trapped, start eating more stop exercising get fat and happy! Ha ha Psycho! No I wouldn’t do that, I hope!

But what I can conclude from all this is that you really shouldn’t listen to people. Everyone who has their opinions of what muscles you should be working or what food groups you should drop etc are most likely talking utter bullshit. For example, someone telling me running won’t help me, probably can’t run for more than 5 mins themselves so if they convince themselves running doesn’t help then they don’t need to worry about the fact they can’t do it. Once again, my high opinion of the general public shines through, but there is some truth in that. Who wants their best mate to be thinner than them? That is why when we are eating dominos, chocolate and drinking beer we convince them to do it with us. If I’m getting fat you fucking are as well! It makes us feel better about our vices – smoking and drinking is another classic for that. I pretty much gave up alcohol for the most of January- March and so many friends would try and convince me to drink with them because if I’m drinking it makes it ok for them to.

Well I’m lucky in that my new year dieting was kick started this year by getting horrifically dumped and being so miserable I barely ate for the best of 2 weeks (get those violins out) but I wouldn’t recommend this. In fact I wouldn’t recommend anything. Each to their own I say. Whatever works for you. As for me, I’ll keep you posted but I think aside from working to lose weight and get fit and healthy I’m going to work on falling in love with my curves and bumps. Just look at J-Lo’s arse. She must be doing something right the arrogant rich bitch!

I’m going to leave you with the lyrics of a song from a random punk band an ex put on a mix CD for me. I can’t remember their name but these lyrics sum up my feelings perfectly…..

When I was a young boy, knee high to a pig

I had so much life in me, I’d run and skip and hop and jig

I ate almost anything, Everything I could

Cakes and buns and buns and cakes, my word those days they did taste good

Now I’m two foot taller and the world’s a different place

It seems that the last thing anybody wants to do is stuff their face

Mention “What’s for pudding” and you’ll only get a frown

The things that used to pick me up, they only get me down

Read it in the paper, its becoming quite a bore

I’ve thrown it in the dustbin, cos I’ve heard it all before

Do you take sugar in tea, do you get enough vitamin C

Do you count your calories, are you virtually fat free?

Cut down your cholesterol and keep your fibre high

Watch out for preservatives, read the pack before you buy

Keep and eye on sugar and stop eating all those sweets

Well I begin to wonder if there’s anything there left to eat

I’ve heard it on the tv, gone way beyond a joke,

Dietary pointers from a slim-fat bloke

Do you take sugar in tea, do you get enough vitamin C

Do you count your calories, are you virtually fat free?

I don’t wanna cause a hoo ha ha, but don’t you think its gone a little too far

When you give a man the third degree, just because he has a little bit of sugar in his tea…..

Still Don’t Give A Fuck by Eminem. This song is from the 99 album Slim Shady LP. Hope you like

Cuba…..na Na Na Na Na Salsa

I know there is some old saying to do with the first half of your life you are looked after by your parents and the second half you your life you look after your parents. Well I’ve been looking after my mother my whole life especially on occasions when my father isn’t around and she goes into complete competency melt down. The first time my dad went on a business trip abroad, she managed (and don’t ask me how) to put her hand in the bottom of the lawn mower whilst it was still running. I can still see, and will forever have imprinted in to my brain the moment when she shoved her hand in a sink full of water which instantaneously turned a deep shade of red, a bit like in the movie ‘Jaws’. Duggan women aren’t of a strong stomached nature and on my mother passing out, my sister ran out of the room with the good intension of phoning a family friend from down the road for help, only to pass out on the way due to “sight of blood”. So you are left with nine year old Alice running between relations with wet towels and sugar water trying to revive both. Needless to say I was rewarded on my Dad’s return from Hong Kong with a big bag of Haribo for being ‘daddy’s brave little girl’ and my mother was never allowed to mow the lawn again.

So this gives you an idea of the mental status of Mrs Duggan when embarking on a journey in to the depths of the Caribbean with her least responsible daughter, without the only man in the world that can salvage any situation no mater how dire. I’d like to say I was sympathetic towards this but in honesty if I see weakness in some one I kinda play on it? “You’ve got the passports right?”, “Flight IS from Gatwick not Heathrow right?” etc.. Cruel really, but highly amusing. Anyhow the joke was on me on arriving at Gatwick at 4.30am to find that our 07.55am flight to Havana with Cubana airways was not anywhere to be seen on the board, and after half an hour frantic running around to discover that the plane on which we were meant to be flying on (that was meant to arrive in the UK at 6.20am from Havana) had not even left Cuba yet. Another half an hour later it was revealed that the plane was faulty and another plane was being shipped in from Madrid and due to leave at 2.30pm. Marvellous. Anybody got any great suggestions how to spend 9 hours in Gatwick airport departures? No me either. Reading maybe – well I cleverly packed all my nice easy going books in my main luggage and was carrying only Ernest Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls, trying to embrace the whole Cuba thing, which is not the easiest read to pass time, believe me. So giving in I bought a puzzler, plugged my ipod in and watched the weird and wonderful existence of the airport departure lounge inhabitant (and it is no wonder they make so many tv shows about them!)

Well the plane didn’t go at 2.30, it went at 4.30 and you’d think maybe after the hell my now extended family of Cubana airways victims had been through, we would be treated like movie stars, pampered with drinks and nibbles, checked on at ever available moment. Well you would think wrong and must be alerted to the fact that the communist regime demands Cubans all work, for more or less the same wage, and are in no danger of losing there jobs…..so where is the incentive to do their job well, especially when surrounded by hundreds of high maintenance tourists?! Anyways the plane had no entertainment, seating was a free for all, the staff were rude to the point of disbelief, there was a fucking annoying group of school kids among which were two blossoming lovers sat in front of me who snogged for the WHOLE 11 hour journey, and, as I had banished any hope of a vegetarian meal, no food. Gosh I sound like my grandma moaning. Still I console myself in the fact that the money spent on the flights went in to the Cuban economy and the not the pocket of that cunt Branson.

Anyways with plenty of time on my hand I though it was about time I tackled the lonely planets guide “A brief history of Cuba”. And so the obsession began…..

Hands up, I knew very little about the Cuban culture/history before I went (“They’re communists, right?”) and generally have no interest in learning about history of places. A few years back I spent a month travelling in Japan with two of my bestest friends, one who was living out there for a few years. We had a great time, however both being History(ish) students I can imagine my “You’ve seen one temple you’ve seen them all, lets go do Karaoke again” mentality grated a bit. I figured I would be the same in Cuba… “yes yes very nice now lets go dance salsa and drink rum!” Unfortunately, I don’t know if I’m getting older and this is what happens, but I’m absolutely fascinated by the whole shebang.

So as I say all I knew was they were communists and that recently some dude called Castro had stepped down. I was concerned that this may cause mayhem and riots but was assured by work colleagues that caribbeaners(?!) are far to busy drinking rum and smoking cigars to get all worked up about stuff, and as long as the yanks stayed away there was unlikely to be any civil unrest (and I would hope that the yanks had f*cked up enough countries in the last few years to stay away, at least until I had got a sun tan).

Reading the guide helped set the scene for me so I jotted down a little summary of events as I saw them:

-Native Cubans all lived happily

-Natives of another Caribbean island arrive, kill all the native Cubans and live happily

-Spanish turn up and fuck things up – killing loads and using the rest for slaves

-400 years later Jose Marti leads a revolution to get freed from the Spaniards and the USA step in last minute and steal the glory

-USA REALLY fuck things up

-A group of rude boys (inc. Castro and Che Guavara) plot to over throw the Americans and some dick Batista, and trampled them freeing Cuban residents giving them the ‘ideal’ existence

-To piss of the US, Russia keep Cuba alive by buying lots of sugar and cigars

- Russia (or I should say the USSR) fucks up (greedy bastards) and Cuba gets screwed over and people are starving

- They start letting in lots of snappy happy tourists (such as myself) to take all their money so they can eat again.

So you can see why I gave up history at the 1st available moment!

Anyways back to the long gruelling flight…..we eventually got off that blasted craft about 1am Cuban time (5am English) due to a rather extended drop off in Holguin, and rushed through visa check and baggage which took us in to arrivals about 2am….

So first thought is will our transfer be there seeing we were meant to arrive at 4pm? On first inspection no, but after half an hour panic we deduced that our company we booked with has two names – how fucking stupid of us! So we taxied off in to Havana praying our hotel had 24hr reception. Unfortunately I didn’t get to see much of the city on the drive as planned being 3am but at least we were on our way. Getting closer to the hotel I started getting a nauseous feeling which is far too familiar with me now being in a city at night, stemming from a nasty incident in Barcelona a few years back (and yes the story gets more elaborate each time it is told – they had knives you know, did I say knives? I meant guns). So I wasn’t all best pleased when I found out our taxi couldn’t drive down the street our hotel was on and intended to leave us at the end of it. A few pesos (I’ll explain money later) encouraged him to wait while mother dear (entirely unfazed by this) ran up the road to check it was open. Halle-fucking-lujah it was. Almost kissing the cab driver I popped on my backpack and headed up the road to the lovely “Beltran de Santa Cruz” Hotel.

So being greeted with a smile by the receptionist he then blurts out “There is a bit of a problem with your room, the plumbing has broken and we have had to relocate you to another hotel, it is only just 5 minutes round the corner across the square”

What point would you snap? Honestly? I snapped here. “Look buddy, We’ve been up for 30 hours, 13 of these spend in fucking Gatwick airport, 13 on a fucking aeroplane fresh out of Bedrock and the rest in transit between these places, we haven’t eaten, we haven’t changed out underwear, we haven’t cleaned our teeth, and we smell like dead fucking rats and you are trying to tell me that you are going to make 2 poor helpless women lug there baggage across a city unknown to them at 4am in the morning to go to a hotel because you have a fucking plumbing problem?”

At least that is what was being said in my head…what I actually said, in a very weak and feeble whine “Please will you come with us, I’m scared”. And bless his cottons he did.

Eventually my head touched a pillow at 5.30am Cuba time (9.30am English) after dealing with the final disaster of the night that on opening my rucksack I found my suncream had exploded all over my stuff. A perfect start to a holiday wouldn’t you agree? Things could only get better.

I guess maybe I should actually tell you something about my trip instead of my script from “Holidays from hell”.

This was my first and most definitely not last trip to the Caribbean. I think I was about 8 when I bought “100% reggae” and decided that I would spend my honeymoon in Jamaica, so I hope I will again reach these shores, given I can find someone who will marry me. Plus there are so many other places to visit, St Lucia, Barbados, Antigua, Bahamas etc etc…Lets hope this future husband is rich! Cuba, however seems to have something different to the rest and walking out in to the sunny streets of Havana that first morning confirmed this. The Cubana airways big day out suddenly seemed a distant memory. Breath taking architecture ranging from the Spanish colonial style buildings in old Havana, (many completely derelict, but in a funky way!), to neo classical in the vedado district and art deco American influence in central Havana. Diversity that I have never seen in any city, and with the added benefit that unlike most cities they have avoided shoving eyesore 1970s tower blocks dead in the centre of some beautiful area. Any run down ugly buildings just added to the character.

It isn’t a cliché that there are bands playing at every restaurant, on every street corner with people singing and dancing around. Its true, I was there. The first pit stop was at il Patio restaurant in Cathedral square (possibly my favourite mojito of the whole holiday, though there were many and the 1st is bound to taste best!). There was a little 3 piece band playing (guitar, sax and bass) while some nut case woman danced around (mum said she had been there 2 years ago when her and my sister had gone!). They were awesome, I just couldn’t get enough of it! Then this guy from the crowd (Italian I think) just waltzed up, asked to have a go on the sax and just wiped the floor with some improvisation which put anything I ever managed when I played in to a remedial category. That wouldn’t happen anywhere else in the world and the punters went mad for it!

So the first day was mostly spent getting a feel for the place. Walking around getting lost, stopping for mojitos every now and again taking several thousand of photos at every new street at every possible angle. In the afternoon we did (on recommendation by some friends) a ferry trip across to the other side of the water to climb up to a fort (and a MASSIVE statue of Jesus). It was really fun actually as this clearly wasn’t a main tourist attraction and the ferry seemed to be literally the locals bus to and from work. We stuck out like sore thumbs! Also at the top of our little trek we discovered not only amazing views of Havana but also a mini museum of Che Guavara’s house where he lived post revolution and pre him running off to help Bolivia and get himself killed. Here I discovered he had asthma, just like me, which briefly inspired me to go and start a revolution, but I soon got over it.

Food in Cuba is shit, I mean really shit. I don’t actually understand how they can get it so wrong, but they do and especially as a vegetarian we were screwed. You get eggs, lots of eggs, so many eggs that the word is still making me feel physically sick. Mother, having been here before knew all this so had packed a kettle and a big bag of cous cous to help us in dire situations, but had also brilliantly worked out the whereabouts of the only Italian restaurant (possibly in the whole of Cuba) so in Havana at least we managed to get half decent meals! So after munching our way through a big margarita and one more quick mojito we scooted off to bed pretty early, still kinda fucked from the previous days monstrosities.

The second day was one massive lecture on politics and history for me. Though normally this concept would make me shudder with fear and despair, as I said before I’m utterly gripped by the fact that this teeny little spec on the earth’s surface has contributed so much to the history of the human race. We had a bit of fun first though getting a taxi ride to the Plaza de la Revolucion in a classic, bright purple (my favourite!) 1950s Buick with a rather bemused driver being made to pose for many a cheesy snap! The Plaza is kinda bare unfortunately with only 2 things to see. Firstly the Jose Marti memorial statue in front of the massive lookout, which we went up to get some awesome views across the city and watch lots of scary turkey vultures circle around it. And secondly my favourite bit – the huge Che image on the side of the government building with ‘Hasta la Victoria Siempre’ (Forever Onwards Towards Victory) written along side. I have a bit of a Che obsession to be honest, is it weird to think he was hot? Anyways bare as it was it felt pretty cool to be standing where so many political rallies and addresses from Castro and other revolutionaries has taken place.

After this we got a bug taxi (look at pics) to the hotel nationale (very posh!). It was so funny watching so many people turn up in mercs and swish cars and we turn up in a little yellow blob! Here we had a mojito looking out across the water to where we had been the previous day and then set off on quite a bit walk down the sea front where we finally ended up at the Museum of the Revolution. Here contained everything you would ever need to know about Cuba from the dawn of time. At some point it was really quite bizarre how much detail they added – “Here is the spoon Castro used whilst hiding in Argentina” – no joke! But it was fascinating. I won’t bother saying much about it (as I’ve already given you my brief history of Cuba) but one of the highlights was the “Wall of Cretins” thanking various political idiots for their input in causing/consolidating the revolution. They really don’t give a shit who they insult!

The next day we had rather a stressful bus journey (6 hours – 1 toilet stop) to a supposed beautiful, friendly colonial town though on first impressions this didn’t seem to be the case. The bus ride in showed some really quite nasty, run down areas lacking in the Havana charm, and on arrival into the bus station crowds of people were literally being restrained from mobbing us. They were advertising there “casas” – equivalent to hostelling in Cuba is to stay in casas with a Cuban family who cook and provide for you, but it all seemed all to threatening for me. So we jumped in a cab and headed for our hotel ‘Las Cuevas’ (the caves). Any doubts about the next few days in this place were soon dissolved when we saw how lush where we were staying was!! We dumped our luggage and were straight to poolside sampling the local delicacies – mojitos, pina colladas, and rather bizarre red, orange and blue drinks called Trinidad Colonials, which I took a liking to. We managed to befriend a group of locals in no time who were feeding us more rum and nibbles and giving us salsa lessons. I was pretty pro already after my set of classes I went to in my “I’m sad, lonely and desperate and need to learn salsa to meet more sad lonely and desperate people phase”, but I did learn a new step which was nice. Plus got a chance to laugh at my completely uncoordinated mother. Then at about 5pm, in a matter of 3 minutes the sky was covered in thick black clouds and the heavens opened. I’ve never been in a tropical storm before and I just found it absolutely hilarious – the whole area was flooded after 2 mins of rain, yet it is still bloody boiling and people were still dancing and in the pool! I asked my new best friend Tiago how long these storms usually last to which he replied “That is up to St Peter” – can’t argue with that!

For our first full day in Trinidad we got up bright and early and put on our sexy walking gear and headed off into the mountains on a hike with another unfairly beautiful couple from the hotel and our lovely little tour guide Jordan, who kinda sounded like Borat when he talked which was a tad off putting but you got used to it!

The first part was walking through Trinidad centre which was a lot nicer than it had seemed from the bus the day before – lovely and colourful, with people all going about there everyday business or hanging about in there door ways, playing the guitar or selling fresh fruit. The second bit took us across some fields in to the national park in the thick jungle like mountains. We hiked for about two hours ending up eventually at a gorgeous waterfall and water reserve where Cuban kids were jumping in and playing. I abstained as always when is comes to water that may contain living things. Though I did dip my feet in and noticed a huge lobster like nasty thing crawling around on the bottom and concluded that I had made the right decision.

The hike back was not as fun. The midday heat had really hit in and Trinidad town is located on top of a hill and our hotel on top of a hill on that hill and energy levels were most definitely low by the end. Still we had an afternoon once again of cocktails by the pool and salsa dancing so can’t complain! This evening after dinner (hotel buffet slop) we were treated to an Afro-Caribbean traditional show. 4 uber hot black dudes pranced around stage doing crazy things like eating hot coal and picking up tables with their teeth. It was rather erotic and I may have left a little puddle on my seat.

Next day was our last day in Trinidad town as we were heading that evening to the Ancon Peninsula, about 30 mins south of Trinidad on the coast. Still we made the most of the morning in the hotel. It was actually called Las Cuevas for a reason and (as you probably guessed) this is because it was situated above a group of caves. One of which is open for tours during the day and very funkily becomes a night club by night (though we never went to this unfortunately). So my little buddy Tiago took us on a tour of it which was just amazing! Stalagmites and stalactites to your hearts content – could just imaging people salsaing around them! He he!

After this it was a bit more pool but, as seemed to be the pattern here, late afternoon St Peter pissed on us so we decided we may as well transfer to the new place while the weather was crappy. So off we went through town (which at this point resembled a river) and down to the coast for a few days of sunbathing and chilling. Arriving at the place it seemed nice enough but being an all-inclusive had a rather different clientele, namely idiotic, drunk, burnt Brits. Well I only saw one of these to be honest, a 50ish year old fat northerner who was being rude to a bar man, but it just really got me annoyed. I just don’t understand these people who just want to go on holiday to not actually experience anything of the country, treat the staff like slaves, and abuse the unlimited available alcohol. Anyways we checked in and had an explore and felt pretty disappointed to find that the ‘beach’ didn’t actually really exist– well there was a patch of sand but it didn’t extend to the sea. Compared to our last place it just all seemed a bit, well seedy. The sun wasn’t quite back out so we camped at the pool bar and had a few drinks. My mum, sensing that it wasn’t quite perfect, and of a far too sensitive nature decided to drink a few to many pinas and start really getting on my tits by being over enthusiastic about the place “I’m really warming to this place Alice, I’m really warming to it. Yes, I’m definitely warming to this place”…..then declared she wanted to swim in the ocean before dinner. So in a drastic mother/daughter roll reversal I was trying my best to, in the least patronising way possible explain that to throw herself off a small cliff edge to get to the sea when she was pissed as a fart was possibly not the best idea. Needless to say a combination of her being drunk and over emotional, and me still being a bit wound up and beginning to feel a bit ill culminated in us having our only argument of the holiday involving lots of “I’m just an embarrassment to you” and “I’ve booked us a rubbish holiday I bet you wish you were with your friends” comments……not enjoyable. Especially not enjoyable as the me beginning to feel sick actually turned out to be food poisoning and I spent the next 12 hours on the loo simultaneously pissing out of my arsehole and vomiting. Not the highlight of my holiday.

But a new day dawned. Feeling rather weakened from my night in the shitter I abstained from breakfast (if I saw a plate of eggs I don’t know what would have happened) but walking around I suddenly realised what an over reaction the previous day had been. The place was gorgeous. There wasn’t any drunk English people at all – just that one who was only kicking off because they refused to serve him (quite rightly so – the cunt) and even better than that we found the proper beach! A gorgeous little practically deserted beach with a tiny bar behind it and a semi circle of rocks about 100m out where, according to mum, was the best collection of tropical fish she had ever seen. It was perfect for me to whack my ipod on, indulge in a brilliant book (not Hemingway!) and recuperate from my traumatic night, whilst my overly excitable mother swam, and befriended any body who came within 10 feet of us. Much better!

The next day we took advantage of the hotel free bikes and went on a bike ride down through the peninsula. I haven’t been on a bike ride since I was about 10 and after this I just don’t know why?! It was such fun! Admittedly a bike ride surrounded by sea on both sides on a road lined with palm trees is a lot more appealing than cycling down the A413 but it really should be done more often!! We stopped off on the tip of the peninsula where there was a hotel and mum jetted off on a boat trip to do some snorkelling on the reef (I obviously didn’t – I’m not going to go in to my fear of the sea here – you’ll only mock me) and I had a chance to improve on my ‘getting stupid now’ tan (apparently those last 2 years working in suncare hasn’t really changed my opinion on skin cancer).

We had one more morning on the beach after this before our transfer back to Havana which I was actually ready for by this point. Anyone who knows me knows how obsessed I am with being sun tanned but this whole “culture” malarkey had really got to me and I was itching to get back to Havana and learn more! At the end of the day I could get a sun tan in Lanzagrotty if I wanted for a tenth of the price (with the added benefit of picking up a few STIs), and my tan was pretty much perfect by then anyway (if I don’t mind being incredibly arrogant!)

The bus journey back was even more of a fucking nightmare than the way there. 2 hours longer than it should have been, over booked (so people were standing), road closures etc etc. Plus when we got to Havana we were so late that there were no taxis at the bus station to take us to a hotel, and it was bloody raining again! After pretty much every other person on the bus had managed to hail a cab (we need to be more pushy!) we eventually got back to the lovely Beltran and had a gourmet meal of cous cous prepared en suite and settled down to bed ready to make the most of our last day.

The next morning Havana all of a sudden seemed 100 times more amazing than it was when I was there 9 days prior (and it was a pretty amazing then). Just mooching around I suddenly got that horrible “By 5pm this evening this is all going to be over” feeling. And I wasn’t ready for it. Trying not to let it detract, we walked through the beautiful streets of old Havana through cathedral square where we had that first life changing mojito, and on to the sea front where we decided it was time to tackle the hustle and bustle of the markets and buy some pressies and tacky souveniers, a Che Guavara beret being the most important, of course. Then we went on to find firstly a new discovery which was a street which appeared in ALL the paintings of Havana which were on sale in the market. This was a street with a sign hanging down saying “La Bodeguito del Medio” which turned out to be a tiny little bar where Hemingway used to hang out and it seemed many other celebs had been there too as the wall was covered in pictures and signatures. This took us on nicely to our next planned point of call. The Ambos Mundos Hotel, where Hemingway stayed when he was visiting. They have preserved his room exactly how he had it when he stayed and you can look round it. Also the roof of this hotel has a bar so we went up there and whiled away the rest of our afternoon having a few drinks up there, soaking up the city sunshine with fabulous views and lovely company.

On our walk back to the hotel to catch our transfer something occurred to me. These were streets of a capital city and there were people sitting in there doorways nattering, people playing guitars and others dancing and singing around, kids playing baseball, women hanging their washing out there windows. This wouldn’t happen anywhere else, ever. Can you imagine walking through London chatting to people, dancing with them, children playing? I bet 99% of Londoners don’t even know there next door neighbour’s names! And this was communism – everyone equal, everyone working as a team, no greed, no corruption, a real community. And I thought ‘I could do this’ – I could live in an ‘ideal’ world possibly I’d prefer the countryside – where the houses each have a chicken and a plot of land to grow veg. But I could really live like that. I’ve always been against people earning more money than is conceivable doing satanic jobs, effectively only making money by screwing other people over – bankers, lawyers etc. And I’ve been against the situation you are born in to reflecting how far you can make it in life (I know it isn’t meant to be like this but it is). And I love the ideal. Everyone gets the same, provided they work, whatever they do and as a benefit receive a perfect education system, perfect national health service, a perfect everything government run and a complete sense of patriotism. Real patriotism – not just beating up other nation’s football fans patriotism.

I started thinking about England and wondering why I wanted to stay living here. A country where our so called “left wing” prime minister (who apparently is Gordon Brown now, not Tony Blair anymore) spends £2000 of the British tax payers money per year on cleaners for his stupid amount of houses also paid for by the state. And where white trash Vicky Pollards with 10 babies leak money out of the welfare state whilst moaning about the “bloody asians and poles – they come over here taking our jobs and tax money”. They fucking pay tax so why shouldn’t they be entitled to it? I’d rather they got it than the fat arse Keith Millers of the world. It is disgusting really and I don’t want to be a part of it.

But of course Cuba doesn’t have the ideal. The dream is there and I think it probably worked before the eastern block dissolved, but then again if they can’t really support themselves as a single unit then communism fails doesn’t it.

Personally I think one of the major problems as to why things aren’t working as well as they should stems from tourism. Admittedly it saved the country from starvation but it has created no end of issues and seemingly split the people in to two personality types. Type one are mainly the older generation, still very much pro-Castro. These remember and appreciate that they lived well post revolution, pre special period (between the fall of the eastern block and start of tourism), and also appreciate that the tourists saved their arses when things were looking pretty bleak. These people hence treat tourists with gratitude, respect and kindness. The second type, what I’m calling the ‘next’ generation of Cubans, seem to be much more cynical and unsure what they get is really ‘fair’. These people are really quite resentful of tourists often to the point they are just plain rude (turning their backs, shooing away etc). I think the problem is as they are unaware of what life was like before. All they see is these rich idiots, with their snazzy clothes, flash digital cameras and disposable cash to throw about, travelling around seeing all different cultures and places. Everything they can’t have and what they could have if things were different. I suppose it would piss me off.

Another massive problem with letting tourists in is the discrepancy in what people earn depending on whether they work in the tourist industry or not. Money is a bit complex but Cuba has two currencies – local pesos and convertible pesos. Tourists are only eligible to use convertible pesos and each convertible peso is actually worth 10 Cuban pesos. So effectively if I were to go in to a shop and buy a bottle of water – this would cost me say 1cp (around 50p) and a cuban 1p (i.e around 5p). So effectively they are charging tourists ten times for everything which still always seems reasonable to us (2 mojitos tended to be around 5cp – £2.50 – not bad!). This means when you tip someone in a bar, say 1cp – they are getting about £5.00 worth out of it yet it is only costing you 50p. I think this is absolutely genius and I can’t see why other countries haven’t caught on. In Thailand why not charge £5.00 for a meal instead of 50p?! Tourists will still pay £5.00! However the people in tourist industry, with their tips, get much more disposable cash than anyone else which brings about inequality in the people – everything communism isn’t. Take for example the scenario of the hiking trip we did in to the mountains in Trinidad. The cost of this was 7cp each so 14cp in total and seeing as our guide stayed with us from 9am-2pm in the blistering heat enthusiastically talking all the time, we had a 20cp note and told him to keep the change. So he got 6cp – £3 to us, worth £30. This makes you feel great as a tourist. Giving a tip of not that much value to you makes a huge different to the local’s life. In fact their monthly salary is 300p so we actually tipped him a 5th of what he would earn in a month. Crazy really. However you think of all the doctors and teachers etc who slave their arses off and don’t see anything of the sort coming their way. Where is the incentive to work then? This isn’t fair and is where the system really breaks down. You could definitely feel a certain civil unrest and I reckon especially now as Castro has stepped down, big changes are afoot. I guess if you were thinking of going I’d recommend going asap. (Hark at me making political predictions when 2 weeks ago I didn’t even know what communism really meant!)

Anyways enough politics and back to reality. Damn I wish I could but I’m hooked! Six months ago, to spend all my time googling Che Guavara and ‘communism for dummies’ or writing ridiculously long blogs that no-one will read (except maybe Sam – and even he will probably have got bored by now), would have been fine as I had nout better else to do. However right now I do, like revise for these bastard exams, and this new found obsession is greatly reducing the productivity stakes!

All in all the holiday (which is what it was at the end of the day) was a big success. I’d love to go back there and see and do more of it, and like so many places I’ve been I say I will one day. But then I realise that to go back to somewhere I have already been means sacrificing going somewhere new which I can get momentarily obsessed with until the next place…..etc etc.

Watch me convert these sinning monkeys to Jesus Christ our saviour and lord. This video was filmed in Ubud, Bali, Indonesia.
Video Rating: 4 / 5

Related Fucking Articles

Advice for Couples New to Anal Sex

Anal sex for many couples is a big step in their relationship. It shows a sign of love and above all, trust. The problem for many couples is how to make anal sex more comfortable for both of you. Many couples are worry that anal sex may be painful. However, anal sex can be quite pleasurable for both partners. The muscles and nerves around the anus are extremely sensitive which can result in a major orgasmic experience. If you and your partner are planning to experiment with anal sex, here are a few tips on making your experience a good one.

Breath, don’t forget to breath, relax put on some smooth romantic music, music that will make you, just relax. Light some candles, set the mood. It also wouldn’t help to have a nice massage in the beginning to get the juices flowing.

The use of a Personal Lubricant is very important when engaging in anal sex (You can even try a lube with Benzocaine that will numb the area and make it less painful). This way there is no skin on skin rubbing. This could cause rashes, abscesses or worse even PAIN, to which you may never try this again. Here are some personal lubricants that we recommend that are specifically for anal sex. The lubricants are thicker than average for more safer and comfortable anal sex.

AnalEse – Anal lubricant that contains Benzocaine to reduce the initial discomfort of insertion while its lubricating properties allow ease of penetration.

AstroGlide Shooters Anal Lube – Each package contains six individually wrapped lube applicators that can be inserted where you want before you play. Allows for no mess application. This lube is a water-based anal lubricant that is thick enough and long lasting for a pleasurable anal sex experience.

China Anal Balm – This lubricating cream contains the maximum amount allowed of Benzocaine which takes the sting out of anal sex. This is the strongest over the counter formula of Benzocaine. The numbing effect lasts between 10-20 minutes. Cherry scented flavored and oil free for ease of removal.

Start out slow. Be gentle. Do not force anything. Let it come naturally. Try using a finger at first then a small anal vibrator or anal plug to start with before having anal intercourse with your partner. Take your time be gentle, make this comfortable for you and your partner. Take it in steps, with each session you will gradually become more comfortable and be able to enjoy yourself with your partner.

Last and most important “COMMUNICATE” Talk to your partner. If it doesn’t feel good try it another way. If you need to slow down say slow down. Communication is the key. By following these steps you and your partner will be able to relax, breath, lube, and communicate to the point of ” No accidents.”

facebook.com

Related Anal Articles

Cleaning Dog Anal Glands

Stop Your Dog Scooting

Dog anal glands are found just below and either side of the anus. Dog’s use the anal glands for marking their territory and leaving their unique smell.

In most dogs, the anal gland cleans itself, and does not require routine attention, but occasionally the glands can get blocked or impacted, causing the dog to lick at its anus or drag its rear across the ground, sometimes called scooting.

This will often empty the glands. If the anal glands remain clogged, infection can set in very quickly and abscesses can form. A good diet is essential in mainting healthy dog anal glands Since it is the pressure applied by a normal, solid bowel movement that expresses the glands and keeps them functioning correctly. Diarrhea and soft stools, resulting from an inadequate diet, may not apply enough pressure to completely empty them.

Each Anal Gland constantly produces a secretion with a very strong odor that is unique to your dog. Along with urine, the anal secretion is in fact, your dog’s odor signature to other dogs.

Dogs identify each other by their sense of smell. They mark their territory with urine, which usually does not change much in odor. But the stool’s odor does vary with diet, so the anal glands secrete a small amount of fluid, along with the stool, with each normal bowel movement, marking it with the dog’s own odor.

If impacted dog anal glands are a constant problem, you need to pay attention to the dog’s diet and try to eliminate diarrhea and soft stools. Find a dog food that your dog can digest easily, is of good quality and gives your dog all the nutrients he needs.

Make inspecting your dog’s anal glands part of his grooming program. If you have to express them yourself, it is quite easy to learn how to clean dog anal glands and can save you time and hundreds of dollars in vet bills, but don’t clean dog anal glands unnecessarily.

Natural anal gland remedies can be bought that encourage natural emptying of the anal glands.They can act as an aid to manual extraction of impacted or congested anal glands while cleaning the anal area and preventing infection and abscesses. This remedy also brings pain relief and reduces inflammation and it is a disinfectant solution to prevent bacterial growth.

Contestant Rajeshwari sings ‘Anal mele pani thuli…’ in the melody round of ‘Airtel Top Singer’ on Raj TV.
Video Rating: 5 / 5

How to Make Good Anal Intercourse Even Better

Many people enjoy anal intercourse. The sensations and erotic feelings from anal intercourse are very different from vaginal intercourse. If you enjoy anal intercourse, and are wondering what you can do to make it even better, there are a couple of things you can try. You can, of course, look online or take a trip to your favorite adult toy store and buy some great little toys and accessories to make anal intercourse new again, fun, and even more erotic than it has been for you. Do not neglect, however, the importance of a good lubricant to go along with those neat little anal beads and toys.

Anal lubricants can make anal intercourse an incredible, arousing sex act that feels intensely great. Anal lube is one of the most popular sex enhancers for arousal and stimulation. The anus does not provide its own lubrication, so the key to great anal intercourse is, in fact, the lube that you use. Without lubrication, anal intercourse can become painful, irritating, and your skin can become chafed and infected.

There are many different kinds of anal lubricants to enhance your anal intercourse experience. Water lubricants have no chemicals to break down condoms, so they are a good, general lubricant. They are also cheaper than other types. Watch out for the lubricants that are flavored, though, because they contain ingredients that can cause a nasty infection on the anus.

Oil based lubricants are generally not recommended for anal intercourse with condoms or sex toys. They break down plastics and can compromise the strength of latex. Also, oil lubes can coat the rectum and anus, leading to a bacterial infection if it is left on for too long.

Silicone based lubes are the best kinds of lubricant for anal intercourse. They are safe to use with condoms and latex products, so your sex toys will stay safe when used with the silicone anal lube, for the most part. Use caution, though, if you have toys that are made of silicone. The lube could cause breakdown damage to your special toys. Silicone based lubes also last longer than water based lubes, not drying out nearly as quickly. However, the lube can be hard to wash off, and can irritate the anus and rectum if left on for too long.

Silicone lubricants are great for anal intercourse, and many people like the thicker feel to them. Many others, however, prefer the water lubricants for anal intercourse, which are silky and smooth. Try the different kinds out to find which one suits your needs to make anal intercourse more enjoyable for you.

Danshoku Dino defends the GAY World Anal title against the fifteen time champion MEN’s Teioh. Dino may be gay and over the top, but can he out-gay Teioh and prevent him from becoming a sixteen time GAY World Anal champion?
Video Rating: 4 / 5

Related Anal Articles

Rap – Reality

Reality

Smack , reality is back an itâ??s hittin on me
Twice as bad yet I donâ??t give a fuck
Cracked in the face with a big gondola  
Fucking hell man, look what ey told ya

Is it wrong to try and rap without bein black?
I aint being racist but this is ma song
Iâ??m gona make it worth it before itâ??s all gone
Bottle cap got twisted, got a fucking map
So donâ??t tell me shit that I aint black
I donâ??t give a fuck, I smack you back
Eminem, 50 Cent, fucking white and black
But ey got respectâ?¦

I donâ??t do crack on street corners bitch
Maybe no respect but I got my attitude bitch
Donâ??t wana be famous, just heard bitch
Get an album, fuck off bitch
Look bitch, not gona happen

I grew up with everything I needed
Fuck it man I even got repeated
If I aint done drugs, busted a bank
Killed some fucker in the back seat of a car
Fuck it man I can still fight
Fuck it man fucking thing a can do
Think all rappers are ex-cons?
Fuck it you got shit to doâ?¦

Shit got worse at school with the crap that you get
Canâ??t love rap but still be a metalhead?
I fucking can, bitch
Donâ??t mean Iâ??m disloyal or any shit like that
I still understand the shit that Shady raps
Growing up under people like that
Fuck man, reality hits back
Eminem can preach and weâ??ll all fucking listen
Know why?
50 Cent can carry words
Know why?
Fuck it if I do, I guess itâ??s just how it is
Listen to the lyrics as life lives onâ?¦

The shit that you get for having long hair, or a rip in your jeans
What if I rip you, slit you right down the seams?
Fucking split, bitch
- Guitar chord -
Shit, thatâ??s reality manâ?¦

Scratch
Thump
Groan

Our Tech Trends reporter looks at the new gizmo Sony promises will revolutionize the way consumers become infuriated by goddamn blinking TV box things.
Video Rating: 4 / 5

Related Fucking Articles

Anal Sex: Things That You Should Know

Some people love anal sex very much. In fact, most people can have pleasure with anal sex. However, for people who have never tried it before, they may find it painful at the first time they try it. In fact, there are some cautions you should know when you are trying anal sex.

The first thing you need to know is that lubricant is a must when anal sex is concerned. As a matter of fact there are some lubricants which are specially designed for anal sex. You may wonder why lubricant is so important for anal sex. It is because it will be next to impossible to have anal sex without lubricants.

Some people will try to use saliva in order to have anal sex. However, you should never do that. Saliva is never a good kind of lubricant. You should also try to use a condom when you are having anal sex. This will help prevent you from infecting by STDs.

There are some sex toys which are designed for anal sex. However, you have to understand that it can be very scary to use a really big toy if your partner has no experience on anal sex at all.

As a result, you should try to use a small toy if it is the first time for you to have sex toys. Remember, you will still need to use lubricants even if you are using sex toys for anal sex. You may want to use a larger toy once you are accustomed to use a small sex toy for anal sex.

Besides, you should also try to be relaxed when you are having anal sex. As a matter of fact it is very important for you to be relaxed when you are having sex. You will not be able to enjoy the pleasure of sex if you are not really relaxed.

In fact, having anal sex can be full of fun. And one thing you may not know is that you should also try anal sex if you are a man. You can ask your partner to use strap-ons or other kinds of anal sex toys so that she can have anal sex with you. On one hand, it is full of pleasure to have anal sex. On the other hand, you will have a chance to understand how your partner feels when she is having anal sex with you. You will certainly find that your sex experience can be enhanced if you can really do so.

Learn tips and techniques on how to clean, drain or express the anal glands of your dog in this free video. Expert: Anne-Marie Forde Bio: Anne-Marie Forde and Jon Fless have owned and operated The Sudsy Dog Grooming Shop for 8 years. Filmmaker: Christian Munoz-Donoso

Welcome to BreakingGA! I’m a freshman in high school and I love making videos. Enjoy my videos Outro song: www.youtube.com

Live video footage from Oingo Boingo’s 1990 Halloween concert at Irvine Meadows. This whole concert is offered in high quality, so make sure to view it that way, its much nicer! For those who’d like to watch the concert in order… 1. Cry Of The Vatos 2. Dead Man’s Party 3. When The Lights Go Out 4. Dead Or Alive 5. Home Again 6. Skin 7. Glory Be 8. Cinderella Undercover 9. Help Me 10. Sweat 11. Out Of Control 12. Flesh’N Blood 13. Grey Matter 14. Long Breakdown 15. Good For Your Soul 16. Elevator Man 17. No One Lives Forever 18. We Close Our Eyes 19. Mama 20. Minnie The Moocher 21. Dream Somehow 22. Not My Slave 23. Stay 24. Who Do You Want To Be 25. Wild Sex 26. Try To Believe 27. Just Another Day + Encore 28. Gratitude 29. Private Life 30. Violent Love 31. No Spill Blood + Encore 32. You Really Got Me 33. Little Girls 34. Only A Lad 35. Goodbye Goodbye
Video Rating: 5 / 5

Stop Internet Porn Addiction With These Programs

Being addicted to internet pornography or having a spouse who is addicted to it is definitely a difficult situation to deal with. However, there are different programs that you can join that will provide help and support, which is a large part of what it takes to get through a porn addiction. Here are some of the best programs to help you stop internet porn addiction:

Recoveries Anonymous – http://www.r-a.org/i-internet-porn-addiction.htm

This is an online program that focuses on the 12 steps in order to help you get through your porn addiction. They welcome all people, no matter what kind of problems they have. One thing that is unique about this is that you can start your own group on this site. So, once you have gotten through your internet porn addiction, you can dedicate time to helping others get through the same addiction that you suffered from. Who better to help them? This is a great program for you or your spouse

Pure Online – http://www.pureonline.com

This is a 30-day program that caters to many different individuals. With their men’s workshop, men can find a comfortable place to deal with their porn addiction and their wives are able to receive telephone calls from a counselor to help them deal with the issues they face. Having a husband who is addicted to porn is very difficult and can almost make a woman wonder what’s wrong with her. This is the kind of thing you get help with while your husband gets cured of his porn addiction. There are also workshops for single women and single men who are addicted to porn. There is also a ton of information available on this website.

Wendi.com – http://www.wendi.com/html/porn_addiction.html

This is a website that offers help for porn addiction through meditation and hypnosis CDs. There are four different CDs that contain 13 hypnosis sessions aimed at helping you overcome porn addiction and seek real and meaningful relationships, whether they are with your spouse or with a new love. These sessions cover letting go of the porn, healing, reconnecting, and much more.

SASH – http://sash.net/content/view/47/52/

This is a great resource for people who are spouses of an internet porn addict as well as people who are internet porn addicts themselves. With this program, you can find out if you truly are an internet porn addict, and you can find lists of groups in your area. While many people find online resources adequate enough to help them overcome their porn addiction, many others want to participate in an actual group meeting where they can speak to others face to face about their porn addiction.

A Place of Hope – http://www.aplaceofhope.com/internet.html

This is a resource for many different addicts, including internet porn addicts. They work with the addict in a family-oriented treatment plan. When the key is to stop porn, it’s also important to find value in the family and the marriage or relationship that you have. This assists the porn addict in finding help and hope for a cure to the addiction. They also focus on the ‘whole person’ rather than just the pornography aspect. This helps to find the root of the addiction and gives a better chance for healing.

Search through the list of resources and programs above to find something that is right for you. You don’t have to live with this addiction, whether you are the one with the problem or if your spouse is the one suffering.

This one is 4 different news stories, I was tired of my videos running under 2 mins so I put a bunch of stories together. Enjoy! PS The baby is Ok.
Video Rating: 4 / 5

How To Bring Her To Multiple Orgasms And Give Her Wild Sex

Enlarging Penis At Home also You Increase Penis Girth combined with Foods To Make Your Penis Grow

I think it’s fair to say that there are very few men in this world that would not like a larger penis. From boy to man that desire is always present. One question that’s I always wondered was does masturbation increase the size of your penis?

On January 2007 I was actively seeking a way to naturally enlarge my penis size. My research led me to the discovery of this blend of penis male enlargement methods used successfully by many men to get a bigger penis simply and permanently…

There aren’t many men out there that wouldn’t like to increase their size of their penis however finding the right product to do so is usually a tough task to say the least. With such a wide variety of penile male enhancement options available on the market cutting through the scams and the imitators to find the products that will actually be effective can be much harder than you might think.

Do you want to make your penis bigger BUT also do so 100 naturally? Read on to see which method works the best to get a larger package quickly easily and PERMANENTLY!

A Heat Sink (or heatsink) is a device used to absorb and dissipate heat from whatever it is attached to. They are common on computer circuitry boards to help keep the board and chips cooler. What does this have to do with the foreskin?

Today I am going to reveal how using Jelqing can make you see massive penis size gains. I will reveal 3 vital steps that need to be followed to enlarge the penis from the comfort of your home.

If you suffer from sexual or erectile problems odds are you know all of the many products out on the market in that genre. You may understandably be wondering which one is for you. In that case you will find the following comprehensive review helpful in making a difficult choice.

Much of the religiously based debate around homosexuality often rests on the premise “it’s not natural”. This is not accurate, as any sex which occurs within the natural universe is by definition natural. Let’s have a look at the animal world and see what is actually natural. Do we see gay and lesbian homosexuality? Bisexuality? Transexuals? Transvestites? Hermaphrodites? An even more important question is what right do any individual or organisation have to dictate what is or is not allowed in terms of sexual practice or method of commitment between consenting adults? This doco is courtesy of National Geographic. Please suport this organisation by subscribing to their YouTube channel, cable channel or magazine.
Video Rating: 4 / 5